


I vow, openly

by dancenwrite



Category: Persuasion - Jane Austen
Genre: Canon Compliant, Conversations, During Canon, Explanations, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29969196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancenwrite/pseuds/dancenwrite
Summary: "There they exchanged again those feelings and those promises which had once before seemed to secure every thing, but which had been followed by so many, many years of division and estrangement." - Jane AustenMy imagining of how that conversation might go.
Relationships: Anne Elliot/Frederick Wentworth
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	I vow, openly

There they exchanged again those feelings and those promises which had once before seemed to secure every thing, but which had been followed by so many, many years of division and estrangement. 

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“It’s not that I had any hope of loving any other, my dearest Anne, when you had been so perfect. How was I to know I had been angry and bitter when I thought I had succeeded in forgetting you?” He would not retract a single thing he had written in the letter to her. Having finally put his full heart back on the line, he would not be so weak or cowardly as to turn his back on her. Not again. Not with his present hindsight to remind him of all the years of misery not having understood or fought for her had caused him; had caused them both.

“I had thought I would never be happy again. I had made my mistake in leaving you, but I would suffer the consequences quietly. And then you came back and it was a whole other torture. Seeing you and loving you still, but watching you resent me. Watching you love another.” He made a motion to interrupt her, but she spoke first. “I know now that you did not, and I believe you. I am only telling you of what it seemed to me. To everyone.”

He looked to her. “I had let my pride get the better of me, and it has destroyed my character, no doubt, in the last few weeks.”

“No Frederick. No. You are an honorable man still. And there were no hearts broken.” She tightened her grip on his arm as they strolled to momentarily deliver her point.

“Except yours. Always yours it would seem, selfless Anne.” He was despondent again. “You have forgiven me, I know, for Louisa, but will you forgive me for all the years of torment I put us both through. You would’ve taken me back when I landed two years after our separation, and still, I forced us to be parted for another six years.”

“As I had said, I thought I would never be happy again. I thought I would live out my days regretting a decision I had made when I was but a child. But along the way, I realized I had not been fair to myself. I had hurt you, yes, and I had thought I would never be with the man I loved, yes, but I was also punishing myself unjustly for a decision I had made when I was still young. And while I know that if I could go back and do it differently I would have, I also know that I loved Lady Russell and I should not be punishing myself for listening to her when she was all I had.”

She could not know how happy that made Frederick to hear, for his Anne to speaking so assuredly of herself. He had hated and cursed Lady Russell many times over the years, and he had been angry with Anne too, but his biggest fear since Louisa was the self-loathing he was causing her. He had wanted her to hurt, but he hadn’t wanted her to doubt herself. Her character had always been fixed on his mind as perfection itself, even subconsciously when he was angry with her, made up of the loveliest medium of fortitude and gentleness. And to see how her family looked down upon her angered him. But to see how little she thought of herself around her family had filled him with shame to know he had done that to her as well. To have been the reason she doubted her own goodness when he was around.

“My dearest Anne. We were both so young when we fell in love. In no way did that detract from the way we loved each other. I know that now, but perhaps it kept me from fully understanding you. I am sorry for not standing by you then. For not pushing to try harder.” He had to start at the beginning if he wanted to secure their future together.

“Beloved Frederick, let us no longer apologize for the past. What happened back then has become an integral part of both our characters now. I do not need you to be sorry. But I do need a promise from you.” Her soft and delicate eyes were alight with a gorgeous intensity.

“Anything, my Anne. Anything and everything you shall ever desire shall be yours.” Whether or not it was in his ability, he would do everything possible to grant her her heart's desire. From now on they would only bring each other happiness and love.

With a gentle smile, that highlighted all the love and joy she felt at being in this moment and having this discussion she said, “I need you to promise me to always support me. To always be on my side. And, when we disagree, I need to know you’ll talk to me; that we’ll discuss our differences until we come to a common understanding. I have so much family that care not for what I think or feel. I need you to never be like them. I can be around them, love them, because I know who they are and who I am. And I know who you are, my love. And we will no doubt disappoint each other in our long years together, but through it all, I need you to still always be by my side. Can you do that? Can you vow that?” There was no doubt in her mind what his answer would be, but some things, like marriage vows, were meant to be said aloud.

And there was no hesitation on his part. “I vow it. My lovely Anne, I promise to be on your side on all matters. To go through this life whichever way the sea takes us, with whatever land we end up calling home in our life together, by always supporting you and always endeavoring to understand your thoughts and feelings. I promise to always be the family that supports and trusts and believes in you, in all things. Because I do, Anne, understand you. Now better than ever before, and I know we will only understand each other better and better as we build our life together.”

She had known what he would say, and still, her being was filled to the brim with a warmth and security that left her with excess emotions pouring out of her. The smile on her face was the simplest and most full thing that had ever graced her face, and Frederick had the same smile on his face as he thumbed the few tears that had spilled onto her rosy cheeks.

“And for my part, I vow to always believe in you; to trust in our future together. And no matter which port we dock in, or where the sea takes us, I promise to always build a home with you as long as you and I are together. And I promise, no matter what distance the navy puts between us physically, to have faith in our bond and how we belong to each other. Forevermore.”

They had piled their other hands on top of the two that were connected to each other. Vows and promises made, all that was left was sharing the news with the rest of the family.


End file.
